Puttanesca

Puttanesca

Ingredients

~1/4 cup Olive Oil

~4-5 cloves Garlic (minced)

1 tsp Red Pepper Flakes

2 28oz cans Crushed Tomatoes

1 jar Capers

1 jar Pitted Kalamata Olives

~1/4 cup Dry Red Wine

Directions

1. Put Olive Oil in bottom of pot and heat over medium.
2. Add Garlic and Red Pepper Flakes.
3. Let simmer. Don't let the garlic get too dark. Look for slight color (about 1 minute).
4. Add Crushed Tomatoes, Olives, Capers and Red Wine.
5. Stir and let simmer until it tastes good.
6. Make some noodles (I'm not going to tell you how to do that).

no-bake chocolate chip bars

no-bake chocolate chip bars

yet another dessert option that is delicious and keto-friendly

ingredients

1/2 cup almond butter
1/4 cup coconut oil
1 cup almond flour
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup erythritol
1/2 cup sugar-free chocolate chips

instructions

combine almond butter and coconut oil in microwave-safe bowl and microwave until softened (about 20-30 seconds). they need to be soft enough to be easily stirred together. like a liquid. yes.

add all of the other ingredients except the chocolate chips.

stir everything vigorously and put the bowl in the refrigerator for about 15 minutes.

pull the bowl out and stir in the chocolate chips, then transfer the whole mixture to a square or rectangular parchment-lined casserole tray, baking pan, whatever. cover it with plastic wrap and put it in the freezer for an hour.

then take it out and eat it. congratulations, you have avoided the fate of all humanity for one more day. celebrate!

cheesy cauliflower soup

cheesy cauliflower soup

ever drink a vegetable before?

ingredients

2 tbsp vegetable oil
a whole head of chopped/minced garlic
some meat of your choosing -- bacon, sausage, chicken (I prefer sausage)
1/2 cup flour
32 oz chicken broth
2 heads of chopped cauliflower
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
seasoning according to your tastes

instructions

pour the oil into a deep frying pan or cast iron skillet. when the oil is hot, toss in the chopped garlic. feel free to add more garlic because it is impossible to have too much garlic.

once the garlic has released its sacred fragrance into the air and its holy flavor into the oil, toss in the meat of your choice and cook it until it is fully cooked. then remove the meat, but leave the sizzling fat, oil, and garlic in the pan/skillet.

now pour in the chicken broth, bring it to a boil, and toss in the cauliflower and heavy cream. simmer this until the cauliflower becomes soft like Drake. then you can either use an immersion blender to liquefy the cauliflower, or you can take it about a cup at a time and liquefy it in a blender. do NOT pour the entire mixture into the blender at once or your blender will explode. seriously!

once you have blended up all the cauliflower and poured everything back into your deep pan or skillet, stir in the flour. once the flour is fully dissolved, stir in the cup of shredded sharp cheddar. once that is fully dissolved, stir in your meat choice, if any. now taste it. does it taste good? good, you're done. does it taste kinda bland? start seasoning. salt & pepper are good, but also try a bit of red pepper flakes, thyme, or whatever else you'd like.

your cheesy cauliflower soup is now ready to serve! garnish with more cheese, bacon bits, chopped green onions, parsley, or whatever you'd like.